I'm a little late on this, because I haven't read comics for a while, and I never really did follow Captain America. I like the idea of Captain America, but he always seemed like a dull character to me. First, there's his secret identity: Steve Rogers. I mean, come on. Steve Rogers? What, was the name Jim Blandguy taken?
Captain America's origin isn't exactly inspiring either: As a young man, Steve volunteers to serve in the military during World War II, but is turned down because he is too weak and sickly. He is offered the opportunity to become a subject in a "super soldier" project. A prior subject has already been driven insane by the "super soldier" serum, but Steve lucks out: The serum greatly enhances his strength and reflexes, transforming him into a "nearly perfect human being." He is given the name Captain America, and sent off to fight the Nazis.So, to recap, our plan for defeating the Nazis was to conduct horrifically dangerous experiments on civilians in an attempt to transform them from pathetic weaklings into perfect specimens of flag-waving Aryan humanity. Hard to see how a plan like that could fail.
The character isn't helped by the cutesy patriotic touches either, like how Steve Rogers was born on the Fourth of July and he had a girlfriend named -- no joke -- Betsy Ross. Now I can go along with the kind of inexplicable comic book synchronicity where the guy who becomes Dr. Octopus just happens to have been named Octavius, but at some point these gimmicks start to sound like the punchline of a bad joke:
Q: How patriotic is Captain America?Then there are his "powers," which, well, he doesn't have any. Wikipedia says that "Captain America's strength, endurance, agility, speed, reflexes, and durability are at the highest limits of natural human potential," which is a tactful way of saying that he's as fast and strong as you can be without being, you know, superhuman. So basically he's Batman, except that instead of a utility belt filled with all kind of useful gadgets and a dark, scary costume that helps him blend into the night, he has red pirate boots and a big round shield that looks a lot like an archery target.
A: He's so patriotic that when he went inside the Statue of Liberty, he came in his shorts.
I'm not going to begrudge a superhero the use of medieval weaponry if that's the way he wants to go, but shouldn't he at least have a 2x4 with a nail in it or something to go with that shield? What was the discussion like that led to sending Steve to fight the Nazis using only his right fist and a big round shield? What did they expect him to do, other than draw fire?At some point it occurred to Captain America that when you're fighting soldiers with machine guns, it would be really handy to have some sort of projectile weapon. So he took to throwing the shield, like a big vibranium frisbee that would carom off Nazi skulls with uncanny precision, taking out as many as four Nazis with a single toss. The trick, you see, is to get the Nazis to spread themselves out evenly like pinball bumpers, and then hit the first one at just the right angle. I always thought Captain America should have some sort of battle cry to go with the shield throwing, like "Oh, shit, I've thrown my shield!"
I mean, if the one thing keeping you from being riddled with Nazi bullets was your indestructible shield, would you go throwing it at people? You'd better be pretty damn good at the multiple target shield ricochet if you're going to do that, because if you miss just one Nazi, guess what? Now he's got a machine gun and an indestructible shield. Next thing you know, you're standing there with nothing but a big white star on your chest and a capital 'A' for Ass on your forehead, playing monkey in the middle with the Schutzstaffel.(There is something to be said for the symbolism of Captain American throwing a defensive weapon at foreign enemies when he really should be holding onto it, but for some reason I doubt that the writers saw the irony.)
Captain America's popularity waned after the war ended. They tried to bring him back to fight the Communists, but that didn't go very well, probably because when you're fighting a cold war, a musclebound guy wearing a red, white and blue costume isn't your strongest asset. How do you even maintain a secret identity when you have to carry a big metal shield with you wherever you go? Steve Rogers must have had a pretty good cover story at the ready. "A shield? That's ridiculous. Of course it's not a shield. It's a, um, sled. I'm going sledding. After work. Where I work, at the, um, office building place."
The cold war got really cold for Cap at that point: He was frozen in suspended animation, to be reawakened into the Marvel Comics universe in 1964. He went on to lead the superhero group The Avengers, a group which at the time included Thor and Iron Man. For those of you who aren't familiar with these characters, that's like putting Dakota Fanning in charge of Mike Tyson and Dog the Bounty Hunter.And now powers that be at Marvel have gone and killed Captain America. Well, technically they killed Steve Rogers. Apparently Captain America will live on, but with somebody else behind the mask. And it looks like this time they've given him a gun, which should liven things up a bit.
I for one look forward to seeing Captain America take down America's enemies by throwing his mighty gun at them.
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Labels: Superheroes
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