A description of my blog. http://www.my-site.com 7686577994096911401 Sock Drawer 2008/02/#7686577994096911401 2008-02-04 Sometimes I wonder if Hugh Jackman is an alien sent to earth from outer space to spy on humanity. The aliens wanted to give him a totally average sounding name that wouldn't stand out, so they came up with "Jack Human," but then there was a mix-up with the paperwork.

I think broccoli is a freak of evolution. There are two evolutionary paths for plants to go down: Either they taste bad so people (and most animals) don't eat them, or they taste good so that animals will eat them but discard the seeds and more plants grow. Either way the plant wins. But there are a few plants, like broccoli, that couldn't decide which path to take. So they're edible, but just barely. Way to pick the "chock-full-of-vitamins-but-tastes-like-crap package," you stupid vegetable. Oh, and you can drop the act. Nobody really believes you're a tree.

If Cop Rock was in the dictionary, it would be right above coprophilia.

When fog is really thick, people always compare it to pea soup. But when pea soup is really thin, nobody says, "Wow, it's like eating fog."

My mom used to say, "Remember, when you point at someone, there is one finger pointing at you and three fingers pointing back at yourself. Which is why I always point with all of my fingers.

The next time I hear somebody complain about how windy it is, I'm going to say, "Yeah, but on the other hand, we could really use the air."

If I've learned anything from watching movies, it's that nothing good ever happens at the old mill. How many kidnappings and other evil plots have to go down before people get up the nerve to just burn that place down?

I'm concerned about how those bluetooth earpieces for cell phones are affecting the fabric of our society. It's getting harder and harder to tell schizophrenics from assholes.

Never believe a label that says "self-cleaning." Unless it's on a cat.

I want to start smoking, but I'm having trouble getting into the habit. Will nicotine patches help with that?

I don't understand the system we use for deciding what foreigners are supposed to be called. Why do we have Australians, Italians and Brazilians, but not Japanians or Mexiconians? And if Australians are from Australia, why aren't Canadians from Canadia? People from Canada should be called Canadanians. And why aren't people from Germany called Germaniums? I mean, I know it doesn't make any sense, but it would be funny, and I think the Germaniums owe us that much.


Humor-blogs.com is a schizophrenic asshole.

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