My seven year old son has taken to pasting helpful notes to objects around our house. The other day, for example, he felt that everyone should know that he and his five year old sister had named their bedroom door.
A close-up of the note, in case you can't read it...
...indicating that the door's name is now evidently "Bingo." I didn't bother to ask for an explanation, because my children's answers to such questions tend to be unsatisfying. Why, I might ask, did my daughter christen our swimming pool "The Darkness of Woe?" She has no good answer for that, nor for why our cat is now "The Queen of All Swimming." I've found it's better to just accept these mysterious appellations without insisting on an explanation. Fortunately my son did not feel it was necessary to label the cat.
Sometimes the notes are more instructional in nature. When I woke up Saturday morning, for instance, our pipes were frozen -- a fact I only ascertained after using up our single allotted toilet flush for the morning. I checked the outside thermometer at 6:30 am, and it said 29. The sun was just coming out, and one nice thing about living in Northern California is that even when it gets hella cold at night, the days tend to be relatively warm, even in winter. I went back to bed, figuring that the temp would easily be up to 33 degrees by 7:30.
It wasn't. Apparently there was a cold front moving in or something. So there I sat, at 11:44, obsessively checking the thermometer, which had read 32 so long that at any minute I expected the LCD display to add a little :P or LOL next to the temperature. How can it possibly still be freezing outside? I wondered. And how long until this Venti Carmel Macchiatto kicks in?
Anyway, back to my helpful son, who labeled the toilet thusly:
Again, a close-up:
I'm pretty sure he meant "flush", but you get the idea. Needless to say, I heeded the warning. Fortunately I eventually got the water running so that I never did have to see what lurked beneath that lid.
Mattress Tags: humor toilet
Labels: Anecdotes, Exemplary Police Work, Family
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