Now, however, investigators have learned that the faux dinosaur was part of a sinister plot to wreak havoc on downtown Ripon, California. The mastermind behind the plot appears to be a local seven year old boy who has long eluded capture. Authorities would not release his name but have been referring to him as "Climber" because of his affinity for climbing trees and other tall objects. He was abetted in his schemes by his five year old sister, known only as Speed Pony. Investigators found the children's hideout after a lucky break: Their mother, a former runway model and nuclear physicist, was arrested on Wednesday on charges of hunting zombies without a license. Unable to face the prospect of incarceration at a facility lacking a Starbucks and regular access to sudoku puzzles, she confessed that she had been harboring the pint-sized plotters.
"This dinosaur was just a model," said Albert Binocci of the Ripon Police Department. "The kid was planning on building a 180 foot tall robotic dinosaur made of K-Nex, Legos and Floam." Authorities retrieved several thousand pounds of the dinosaur-making paraphernalia from the children's bedroom.
Joan Limnets, an eldery woman who lived nearby, expressed disbelief at the revelations about the diminutive evildoers. "They seemed like such nice children," Limnets said. "Climber in particular. Such a polite boy. He always said 'please' and 'thank you.' Although to be honest, Speed Pony scared me a bit."
Investigators also found a frighteningly realistic model of downtown Ripon, complete with the house and the hotel. It was built from left over styrofoam packing material.
It is believed that Climber was the primary instigator of the plot. Speed Pony's role seems to have been limited to comic relief and distracting suspicious observers from Climber's sinister doings. Investigators believe that it was only a matter of time, however, before she followed in her brother's footsteps. As the pair was hauled away, Climber could be heard shouting, "She won't stop copying me!"
Today the diabolical duo is incarcerated at a maximum security facility in Modesto, awaiting trial. If convicted of attempted mayhem they will each be sentenced to spend the next twelve to fourteen years having their creativity systematically worn down by repeated exposure to dull textbooks and meaningless, repetitive task assignments.]]>