So I started out with the intention of giving a shout-out to this guy, because the powers that be at the church associated with the Christian school where my wife teaches recently cancelled his Modesto show because he encourages people to engage in unseemly behavior such as the public confession of sins. I'd post more of my thoughts about this, but one thing about retiring at 36 is that you're very dependent on your wife's health insurance. So I'll stick with ripping on Galactic Invertebrates. In any case, it would be a little hypocritical for me to suddenly proclaim myself a big Brad Stine fan, as my initial reaction to hearing that a "Christian comedian" was going to be performing at the church was to roll my eyes so far back in my head that I could actually see my brain thinking about how lame that sounded. I know, I know. I'm sure that there are super-duper funny comedians who are Christians, just like there are great writers and musicians and lawyers and porn stars who are Christians. Well, probably not lawyers. Anyway, the problem is that when someone puts the adjective "Christian" in front of a noun, it's usually for the same reason that they resort to a modifying phrase like "your mother's." As in, "Aren't you going to try any of your mother's broccoli soup?" No matter how much that broccoli soup tastes like burnt tires, you can't say no to that question.
In other words, if I mention to you at a cocktail party that I'm a plumber, you can take that as an indication that I'd appreciate it if you would give me a call the next time your daugher flushes her My Little Pony down the toilet. If, however, I mention that I'm a Christian plumber, you can take it to mean that if you don't call me, then you're probably not much of a Christian yourself and My Little Pony is going to rot in septic hell for eternity, God bless you. It's a marketing gimmick. A lousy, cheap, cynical marketing gimmick.*
Don't tell me you're a "Christian" plumber/artist/comedian/writer/hitman. If I can't tell from the way you plumb/draw/joke/write/kill people, then it doesn't friggin' matter, ok? And if I can tell, then you've wasted both of our time telling me something I already knew. Just do your job.
The other thing that kills me about Brad Stine's Godmen concept is that despite being a supposed "alternative" to Promise Keepers, it suffers from the same problem. PK and GM are both about encouraging men to be "manly men," let loose their testosterone and reject the feminization that is turning American men into "nice guys." And how are they going to do that? Well, they're going to all get together and talk about their feelings, and hug each other, and get all weepy and shit. Give me a break with this already. You want to prove you're a real man? Go over to your mother-in-law's house for Sunday dinner and eat her broccoli soup and play nice with the family. If you still have your testicles when you get home, congratulations, you're a man. Now shut up and act like one.
*BTW I should note that Brad Stine's website refers to him as "America's Conservative Comedian," which is pretty dumb, but not nearly as offensive as "America's Christian Comedian" would be.
Labels: Christianity, Family
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