A description of my blog. http://www.my-site.com 5548904908428504589 10 Things That Suck Less Than Working at Galactic Invertebrates 2006/12/#5548904908428504589 2006-12-26 If I weren't retired, I'd be on my way to work at Galactic Invertebrates* right now rather than sitting at home watching my kids watch Dora the Explorer. I love the part where you have to say "Swiper no swiping!" to keep Swiper from swiping. Then when Dora says, "Gracias!", I say"De Nada, baby. I got your back!" Man, if I was 30 years younger....

Anyway, it occurred to me that today would be a good day to post an IM conversation I had a few weeks back with a fellow ex-Galactic Invertebrates employee. You know her as "Not Karen," a pseudonym that cleverly hints that her real name could be virtually anything. We were chatting on a day that I took off from work to sign papers for refinancing my property, and we came up with the idea of listing all the horrible things we'd rather do than work at Galactic Invertebrates. The list was pretty funny, but I think the conversation about the list was even better.

not karen: any new news?
diesel: nope
diesel: signing papers at 4:30
diesel: took a PTO today
not karen: sa-weeeeet.
diesel: you want to know how sick of that place I am?
diesel: I've spent most of the day shoveling dirt in the rain, and all I can think of is how happy I am that I don't have to see Human Inertia** today
not karen: dang
diesel: I'm actually happy to be out in the cold, working in the mud
not karen: wonder if that comes before or after "I'd rather chew broken glass."
not karen: "would rather shovel dirt in the rain."
not karen: Top 10 list of things that suck, but suck less than working at Galactic Invertebrates...
diesel: exactly
not karen: Shoveling mud/dirt in the rain
diesel: Having your face swell up to twice its size because of a scorpion sting
not karen: lol
not karen: Do your taxes
not karen: in Spanish
diesel: lol
diesel: I like that one
not karen: thanks!
diesel: it should be German though
not karen: even better.
diesel: taking a transatlantic flight seated between Mickey Rourke and Courtney Love
not karen: oh [expletive]
not karen: that's HORRIBLE
diesel: :)
diesel: thanks
not karen: moonlighting as a bunny in an animal test lab
diesel: nice
not karen: doing the Macarena
diesel: lol
diesel: French kissing Janet Reno
not karen: (puke)
diesel: :D
not karen: Dry heaving
diesel: sorry, that one may actually be worse
not karen: that shit's painful
not karen: i think we have a good list going. how many is that?
diesel: 100?
diesel: Gotta be close to 100
not karen: i'm retyping into Word. This is a good exercise.
diesel: how about playing rock-paper-scissors for real, and being paper
diesel: paper covers rock...rock breaks knuckles
not karen: i know you're not used to hearing constructive criticism from all your worshipping readers,
not karen: but that's not funny
diesel: ;(
diesel: it will hit you in about 3 hours
diesel: you'll just bust up for no reason
diesel: and you'll be like, "Dammit, Kroese!"
not karen: LOL shut up
not karen: and i KNOW you didn't bust out the Crocodile Tear smiley
diesel: how about having to write a master's thesis on the use of double entendres in Who's The Boss?
diesel: too subtle?
not karen: good in theory, but not very punchy
diesel: lol
diesel: ok
not karen: Watching back-to-back episodes of Who's the Boss would be pretty horrible in and of itself
not karen: and would qualify in my book
diesel: yeah, but not quite bad enough
not karen: Hmmmm.
not karen: gimme another show
diesel: how about having to watch every episode of Who's the Boss with a retarded kid who pauses the show every time he doesn't get a joke and makes you explain it to him.
diesel: I'm getting a little abstract now
diesel: still, you have to admit that would be pretty bad
not karen: oooh!
not karen: i know
not karen: Waiting for Godot
diesel: lol
not karen: again, to simplify
diesel: not watching Waiting for Godot, you mean actually waiting for Godot
not karen: i think hanging out with a retarded kid would be a bad time by itself
not karen: right.
not karen: it works on a number of levels
diesel: it's the combination of retarded kid and Who's the Boss that makes it work
diesel: or not
not karen: please hold
diesel: W
not karen: DUDE, i was simply typing them up
diesel: ok
not karen: you're pretty fussy now that you're a man of leisure.
diesel: I've always been fussy
diesel: leisure just hasn't helped
not karen: Diving for dead bodies after a plane crash.
diesel: uhhh
diesel: how about wool underwear?
not karen: i still need a show for "watching back-to-back episodes of ..."
not karen: yes. good
diesel: or better yet, steel wool underwear
diesel: 7th Heaven?
not karen: PERFECT!
diesel: how many do we have now?
diesel: and when can we stop?
not karen: We have 10
diesel: are they all good?
not karen: i'll send them to your supersecret e-mail address
not karen: i think so
diesel: ok
diesel: cool, I'll post them to my blog when I get braver
not karen: i took some editorial license in weeding out your rock, paper, sissors and retard Who's the Boss ideas
diesel: man, that Who's the Boss one was genius
diesel: you have to picture yourself sitting on the couch next to the retarded kid who won't press Play until he understands why Tony and Angela aren't married
not karen: you're letting the blog feedback go to your head
not karen: takes too much "thinking".
diesel: lol
not karen: Dave would never approve.
diesel: you're never going to convince me that's not funny
not karen: Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go learn myself how to layout a newsletter in Publisher.
diesel: it's high-brow humor
diesel: not your sort of thing
not karen: LOL.
not karen: asshole.

*I have changed the name of the company to cover my ass.
**Surprisingly, also not his/her real name.

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